MY Annus Horibilis
By Adel Houten - Director Health Perks Ltd
Around 15 years ago, I experienced what our 'Queenie' would call my 'annus horribilis'... in layman's terms a 'really shit year!' It turned out however that this was one of my biggest lessons and a pivotal point in my life... one that I will truly be grateful for forever!
I was in the middle of a divorce, which at the time was pretty traumatic. My ex Husband was an addicted gambler and as a result I stood to lose EVERYTHING! Having never spent a penny on a credit card, I found myself slapped with credit card debts totaling £60k, I had remortgaged both my houses to pay for his gambling debts (I say my houses because it was me who was the earner in the relationship) on top of this, I put a payment on a car which I never received, I had thousands stolen out of my bank account which it took a whole year to recover, I had bailiffs at my house chasing debts that I hadn't accrued and to top it off... my teenage son was going completely off the rails... getting expelled from school. It was the worse year of my life! I was struggling to run my business whilst trying to find ways to keep my home and keep the wolves from the door. Have you ever felt like you were treading water? This is exactly how I felt for a long, long time.
Then one day, I was sat with a friend in a coffee shop... I was a mess, I looked a mess, I felt a mess I was a hot, hot MESS! And I realised... I was fighting to keep something I had already lost. In that moment I gave in.. I gave up... But not in a negative way... I gave up the fighting to keep the things like the house, paying the debtors... and just thought 'what can they do they can't kill me?' In that moment I felt completely at ease... I felt peace for the first time in months... It was in that moment that I had accepted my situation instead of fighting against it that I realised...
Trying to hold onto those material things is what was causing me the pain and in the 'letting go' I was completely FREE!
Freedom is another definition of 'nothing left to lose' and well, I had nothing else to lose and boy.. I was totally free!
My situation hadn't changed, but my thoughts about the situation had and from that moment on, I felt more free, more happy than I EVER had been. I realised that the material things we desperately try to accrue and to hold onto mean absolutely nothing.
Here are some of the lessons I learned that year..
1- Accept your current situation as it is... it's all part of the plan
2- You are exactly where you need to be right now and it will only become apparent in years to come
3- Trust in the universe.. it has your back ... and KNOW things will ALWAYS be OK no matter what!
4- What you resist, persists
5- Never date an addicted gambler (lol)
Nowadays, I am back on top financially... I took the learnings from those lessons and it has been my philosophy on life ever since! My greatest gift! I have broken out of programming I ran my life by prior to that time and I am truly happy, free and will never be a 'slave' to the system again.
Mastering my mind was the first step into a life of freedom, happiness and indeed richness, although for me, I had to learn the hard way. As for my ex, I rarely think about him... I am completely free of him too in every way... why go through all that shit to hold onto the soiled toilet paper right? lol
If you are experiencing hardship right now, whether that be emotional OR financial or if you too are just going through your annus horibilis... know that this too will pass.
If you want to connect with others who understand and can support you through your journey of transformation, join the MindMasters Movement group on FB... I and others like me will be sharing my years of experience of mind management techniques, positive psychology and resilience coaching amongst other things to help you through this stormy time... I'll see you there :-) (Click below)